Happy Birthday, Dear Maxwell…

It was a momentous occasion, the day my light, my sunshine, my world turned one. And as such, I went into it thinking that everything had to be perfect. I had never dived into anything with quite so much gusto, quite so much passion. My wedding didn’t even take up this much of my time or energy. It had to be perfect, not for the sake of others, but because I was celebrating an amazing accomplishment. I was celebrating my child, my first born child and the completion of his first year of life.

And yet, had I been drawn into the competition to put on a perfect party? Had I really been sucked into spending days, weeks, months creating the perfect decorations around a predetermined theme? Had I spent so much time on the details that I lost sight of what was really going on here? In the days following the magical birthday glow, I began to wonder.

I agonized over every detail; what food would be served, what kind of cupcakes would we have, how many balloons would we need, where would be the appropriate place to hang all of the streamers and banners I meticulously cut out and strung, how many bodies could we shove into the family room before it busted at the seams, what would we need to keep that many kids entertained for an afternoon, do I really want to deal with that many people, how would everything be presented? How much and how many was the question that was constantly filling my head, ringing in my ears, and keeping me up at night.

I agonized over the guest list. I must have written it out five or six times, adding people and then crossing them off the list again. Was it more important to have family or friends. What about casual acquaintances. What about people I really like, but don’t know very well. What about…what about…? It made me fret. It made me a little sick to my stomach. It was probably harder than any other task I took on for that particular day. I didn’t finalize the list until the day before I sent out the custom invitations. And even as the RSVPs were rolling in, I wondered, should I have invited so-and-so? It worked at both ends. Did I really want to spend time with blank? Or I think I should have invited blank.

In the days leading up to the party, I counted and recounted how many cupcake toppers I had to print out and assemble. I mentally calculated how many cupcakes would have to be frosted. I deduced how many cases of pop we would go through. I figured out how much beer our friends and family drink. I worried about how many sandwiches could be consumed by a crowd this large. Again, the question of how much and how many was permeating my life.

The day started out like a whirlwind. From the moment I tumbled out of bed, until the chimes of the 12 o’clock bell, I was on the move. I hung streamers and banners, I made two different kinds of homemade butter cream, I frosted 50 cupcakes. The minutes and hours kept ticking away, and I was running out of time.

Reinforcements showed up to aid in the setup process. Kacie and Jenn helped with goodie bags, cupcake toppers, and food. My amazing sister-in-law, Becca, ran her little tush all around the house hanging streamers, putting up pictures, putting food in bowls, and laying out sandwiches. I wouldn’t have gotten it all done if it wasn’t for them.

As the guests started to arrive, I still wasn’t completely finished setting up, but they made themselves at home. The party actually took care of itself, for the most part. I made sure that the food was replenished, drink bins were full, people were greeted, and tried to enjoy myself while remaining a good hostess. It was a really long day. But it was wonderful. It was one of the most successful parties I had ever been a part of.

So the question remains, was this an attempt to keep up with the other mommies I know, or was this for me? And the conclusion I have come to is that it was a little of both. There had been a president set within the group of women that I have befriended, but also this was for me. I enjoyed every detail, every minute baking, every train I cut out, every custom tag on the goodie bags. I loved this party. I loved how it turned out, I love everyone who came, and I loved that after all was said and done it felt great to be able to share this wonderful day with so many people.

But next year will be a much smaller event!