Die, Jillian, Die...a.k.a, The 30 Day Shred

A combination of factors actually led to me attempting the 30 Day Shred today.

1.) I am fat! Yes I said it. I am saggy and baggy, stretched out and flabby. I need help! I need to lose 40, yes, 40 pounds and I need to do it fast.
2.) I am still wearing maternity clothes and it bums me out. Yes I am 3 months post-partum, and still in maternity clothes, thank.you.very.much!!
3.) I am totally out of shape, like I can feel every muscle when I walk up a slight incline.
4.) This is the most tragic reason, there aren't very many pictures of my family and it's because I am too self-conscious to get in front of the camera. This reality is devastating and it is what drove me into action at precisely 3:06 this afternoon.

Upon realizing that I had no current "family" pictures, to add to my favorite online forum's Picture of the Week contest, I prompted Nate to try and take some family photos. This is hard when there are only two adults in the house, and they both need to be in the picture. So I set the camera on top of a box, on top of the desk, and we got our posing on. I think that sitting on someone's lap, when you are over weight, only looks good if you are sitting on Santa. You need to be sitting on someone who is exponentially larger than yourself. Nate is not Santa. So needless to say, sitting on his lap just made me look larger. I hated each and every picture, and this made me sad.

Without hesitating, I jumped up, grabbed the copy of the Shred (that I had borrowed from my mom 21 days prior) and got to steppin. Literally! I have never changed clothes and started a workout routine so fast in my life! We are lacking for space, so I worked out in the baby's room. It was quiet and private and out of the way. I am so self-conscious that I don't want to work out in front of my husband anyways. He does not need to see all that jiggles, if you know what I mean!

Now let me first explain that I had watched the 30 Day Shred, on Demand, a week ago and thought that it didn't look nearly as difficult as people had said it was. I was under the delusional belief that this would be a piece of cake, after all, I was no stranger to these types of workouts. I worked out like this a few times a week, before I got pregnant....BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT! Hello...I got pregnant almost a year ago. And I didn't work out the entire time, barring the last week of my 39 week 5 day journey, when I walked 3 miles a day. Everyday. But none the less, I still thought that this would be a piece of cake. Wrong!!

It started off good enough. I got through the first circuit, if you will, with just a few beads of sweat running down my face and not really out of breath. But as I moved onto the second circuit, it finally donned on me that I am not in shape, I am carrying 40 extra pounds of flab on my person, and I haven't worked out in a YEAR! I made it through the 20 minutes, barely. I did all of the exercises in each section, barely. And I am still able to walk, barely. I wonder what tomorrow will feel like? The scary thing is that I have to do this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next until I complete the entire 30 days. But I am committed! I would rather be in pain, then look like this any longer. I am just scared that Jillian is going to kill me!

Now, if only I could break my ice cream addiction. Ah well, one step at a time! Right??